


...Well, Since You Asked Kindly

by kelly_goosecock



Category: Persona 5
Genre: JOI - Freeform, M/M, Masturbation, No Homo, script
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:10:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelly_goosecock/pseuds/kelly_goosecock
Summary: Ryuji and a friend wind down after a hard workout.!!!Important!!!This is written as a script for an erotic audio file, like from /r/gonewildaudio. I didn't submit it anywhere so don't expect anyone to actually record it, though you're welcome to, if you'd like. You can either see it as a self-insert or just pretend the other person is anyone you want.





	...Well, Since You Asked Kindly

**Author's Note:**

> literally i don't know. i wrote this as a little exercise/experiment, so why not just post it. it's not like i'm pretending to be some kind of fuckin' novelist here. it's all smut either way.  
fuk it
> 
> title is from rhinestone cowboy by madvillain

<lots of panting, sneakers squeaking to a halt>

Told you- I'd beat you- to the locker room...

Whoo, man. Helluva run. Kudos for keepin’ up with a pro like me, heh. 

Yeah, take a seat. You deserve it.

It's effin’ hot out, but that just means you gotta push yourself even harder, y'know what I'm sayin’?

Sheesh, I'm a _ lot _gross-er than normal, though. Non-absorbant polyester my ass! I sweat right through this shit! 

_ Eugh, all wet n’ shit… _ off it comes! 

...I better not catch you starin’ at these abs. I know they're impressive, but I ain't been stickin’ to 100 pushups a day so I can show off to my bros, y'know?

<sound of back joints cracking. Ryuji grunts, stretching backwards>

Eeeeyaah, man. So stiff! It's, uh-

Hey. Woah, woah, woah… what the hell, man?

Don't bother tryin’ to hide it, I effin’ saw it! You're seriously goddamn hard right now! Shit, I was jokin’ about you checkin’ me out…

That's not… why that happened, right? You were thinkin’ about a girl, right? 

Aah, jeez, d-don't gimme _ that _ look! 

…

What? No, don't- don't apologize, shit, that just makes it waaay weirder, dude…

Well, uh…

You're not just gonna… sit there… like that?

N-no, I'm not sayin' _ I'm _ gonna do somethin' about it! What are you, effin' queer? God!

Wait… _ are _ you? Don't answer that. I-I mean, there's nothin' wrong with-

Calm down? You're tellin' _ me _to calm down? You're the one who's all… worked up.

No! I wasn't lookin'! It's just- Bro. You gotta do somethin' about that.

You know what I mean. I mean- dude, you're a guy, we're both guys… I know you do... _ that _…

Don't play dumb, asshole! Just whip it the hell out already!

…

Da-amn, I'm surprised you're not more popular with the ladies.

Wha- No! I am NOT checkin' you out! It was just an observation, you giant dick!

...do I _ look _ like I know what a "Freudian slip" is? Ugh, just- listen, just get goin' already, ok?

Still playin’ dumb, huh? What, are you gettin' off on this? 

Fine. I'll say it. Jack off. Jerk your stupid effin' dick off.

Huh? Not good enough? You need a friggin' play by play or what?

Well, I dunno. How do you normally do it? Obviously you gotta grab it first…

Yeah, then, like, go slow to start with. Y'know, squeeze it, an' start… tuggin' up and down. 

I-if you're gonna make noises like that, you gotta stop makin' eye contact, or else-

No! I'm just sayin' it makes me uncomfortable is all, and-

Whaddaya mean, "I'm already-" Oh, shit.

This is NOT 'cause a' you, okay? I was thinkin' about other shit, n' I just popped a random stiffy, happens sometimes. 

No way. I am not gonna take care of this with another dude around. Nuh-uh.

Well, you're different! It's… I…

Okay, listen. If we don't do any gay shit, then this is totally fine, right? Like, we just both happened to get random boners at the same time, and we're both just takin' care of business. That's not gay, yeah?

_ Just gotta get these shorts off… _ If I catch you lookin', I'm gonna kick your ass, alright?

I'm gonna sit down, too. Don't scoot over, man. No touchin'. 

...are you still… y'know, strokin' it? 'Cause I'm gonna… start too.

<Ryuji sighs, lets out a couple breaths>

Ahh, see? Ain't nothin' wrong with this. Just bros bein' bros… couple feet apart…

<a few more near-silent grunts and sighs>

You want to- er, I mean, _ I'm _ gonna go a little faster, so, like, do what you want, but…

<Ryuji's words are occasionally interrupted with mild grunts/breaths/groans>

Do _I _want you to speed up? What kind of effin’ question is that? I don't care what you do.

Wha- I didn't look! I wasn't lookin'!

…

Okay, maybe I took a peek. Fine. Sue me, shithead. It ain't gay to say you got a nice cock! S’just a fact...

H-hey, and maybe I'm just checkin’ out your technique, too. 

What do I mean? Like, you ever try givin’ it an extra squeeze and a twist at the top?

Mmn, yeah. Feels friggin’ _ great. _

You must be pretty pent up, bro. You're workin’ that thing real hard.

No effin’ way it ain't hot! I'm thinkin’ about a chick I like, FYI. Not you.

Huh? Y-yeah, I guess as long as you're just checkin’ my technique you can look. Just don't get any ideas…

O-oh, you're goin' faster…? 

<The moans/grunts escalate from here onward, and interrupt more and more frequently.>

Shit. God, you're so…

Nothing! Nothing. Just shut up and keep goin'. Just like that, yeah.

…

God _ damn _, that feels good. Nothin’ better'n this after a hard workout. What about you? You feelin’ good? 

Good. I-I mean, I don't care, but that's cool that you feel good.

Shit, I shouldn't be surprised. You're goin’ to town on that thing, Jeez. 

N-no, keep goin’...

It _ ain't _turnin’ me on, I was just already this horny, asshole. I just don't want you to not get off, see?

...

I don't like the way you're eyein’ my cock, dude. 

I appreciate it, but complimentin’ my dick is a pretty gay thing to do.

I didn't give yours a compliment, I just said the ladies would like it, cause, I mean, it's so thick and long and shit…

S-shut up.

…

<Ryuji is getting really, really worked up.>

Ffff… eff! Augh, man, are you gettin’ close? If we keep goin’ like this I'm gonna effin’ cum, bro.

Yeah, seriously.

Just a little more…

Shit, oh _ shit _, man…

Keep goin'. Keep goin'…

I'm- I'm-

<Ryuji can't find the words in the midst of a powerful orgasm>

...

<all he can do for a moment is pant>

Ohhhh shit. I needed that _ real _bad, god damn. 

Yeah? I'm glad you got off, too. We didn't even do anythin’ gay, neither. 

I guess we better clean this up before we shower…

Huh? You wanna do this again sometime?

Maybe if we both just happen to get hard at the same time again, then sure.

Oh, shut up and grab a towel, will ya?


End file.
